Outta control

My house is outta control, There is so much that needs to be done.  We are in the middle of a remodel for a fantastic walk in closet, so I keep praying for pouring rain so the hubby will work on it.  So far no pouring rain.  So I sit in my disaster trying to figure out where to start. I think I have a small form of ADD.  I start in one area move to another, feel like I work my behind off, then turn around and man, it looks really no different.  Anyone have cleaning advice?  Besides hiring a maid..LOL.   Then the kids make more messes ever time I clean one area it has to be done again. I am so feeling like I fail in every area of my life. I say the wrong thing, the hubs gets upset with me, I really could use a vacation.  I would not change my life for anything, I know God has purpose for where I am in my current stage of life. I know I am doing a very important job, but some days it is hard to see through all the clutter.   The loneliness that can come with motherhood, man I never thought I could have so many little ones around me and still feel lonely, Don't get me wrong I love them dearly and they are awesome, but I miss adult conversation.  I really hope my business endeavorer work out soon and I can get a little time away every now and then to do a Photo shoot,  All I have to do is say the word and my hubby will sign me up and get me officially Misty May Photography, Then fear sets in, see I have failed a lot in my life and  it is fear holding me back, I am scared of people. I am shy, I have issues with large groups and I  am praying about it because I know if this is meant to be my path God will give me the strength to overcome all my fears.  I am shooting a wedding in July, so I have to get over it soon, It is for a friend, so not total pressure , but I still want to do the best, but by then I should have my camera upgraded to the wonderful Canon 5D Mark 2....And  50mm 1.4... Someday my dream lenses will happen when I am actually making some monies and it is not just a hobby. In October I will have a both at a scrapbook event, so that will help get my name out there.. She expects 300 or so people, so I am getting excited, just have to start getting stuff ready for display.   Well I think I have vented enough and got some stuff off my chest.  Trying to start a new blog for business only, but I really don';t know anything about these things, I know what I want it to look like, but not having much luck the header picture is just way to small and I don't know how to make it bigger... any suggestions.  Well Please pray for all my upcoming endeavors.  God Bless hope you all are having a great week!